11 October 2014

Perceiving my true self.


First, let's count from May to October. It has been few months since my last post here. That's a record. 2014 is indeed a busy year for me. The busiest so far and it comprises of two semesters all together which are semester 5 and semester 6. I guess this entry is going to be lengthy. Ya Rabb, I miss typing essays in English. (excluding my assignments which I think I was forced to) and this is the one that I really want to do and it comes from my heart. 

Two teaching practices I had gone through made my 2014 the busiest year. Three international trips which I expected and the other two were unexpected gave me experiences that I have never imagined. The first trip was an educational trip with my classmates to Jakarta and Bandung and it left me with good memories. When you go to people's place, there are a lot of things that you have to consider and prepare; mentally, physically. I enjoyed every second of it. Before stepping into a country as a foreigner, my mind was stuffed with negative perceptions. However, it worked the other way around when I went there. It was not as bad as what I was told before. Besides, I was fascinated by the views, people and everything that I came across. It reminds me not to judge others. 

I did mention earlier that this year is the busiest year. Participating in Malay cultural events which was a real contradiction to what I study here. I am a TESL student but I do feel that I am very much into Malay Literature and I really like what I am doing now. I really thanked those lecturers from Jabatan Pengajian Melayu in my campus for giving me the chance to participate in Festival Gurindam last four months in Kuala Lumpur. I was an amateur. I know nothing about gurindam and the first time was really a bad start for me. It was a type of traditional literature which I am not familiar with and yet, I enjoyed learning it. Being the first runner up for the event was a wonderful experience and it's such an honor to be one of the representatives from our IPG. I realise that it is quite hard for me to say no to events like this which involves singing and music. I enjoy it. I did whisper to myself sometimes " stop it Erma. what will people think when a girl with big-sized tudung participates in singing?" That's the negative side of me but I thank Allah for not letting the negative thinking of mine from pulling me down. I may not be talented in sport but at least this is something that I really can do. The most important is it's my passion. Dealing with different genres like nasyid, nazam, English songs, irama lagu asli and gurindam itself is the experience that I should treasure. Recalling on the past events that I joined in school, I know that I have grown up with different experiences. Few weeks ago, I participated in Gurindam competition which was held in Tanjung Pinang, Kepulauan Riau, Indonesia. Your passion will lead you further when you are really into it. It was unexpected to be honest. When we were told that we're the winner, the only thing that popped up in my mind is alhamdulillah. An opportunity that I should always grab is to let myself do what I can do in order to benefit myself in the future. 

This place caught my attention. A teacher will definitely know what BBM is. hehe.

Your parents had sacrificed a lot for you, dude. Love them endlessly. 

There are a lot to be learnt in a new place. There's a saying in Malay "jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan". In other words, the further you travel, there will be more to be seen and to be gained. I couldn't agree more. I learn their culture, I enjoy their food, I get the chance to learn their history, I manage to visit the historical places of theirs and I even shop for myself. haha! I guess that's the coolest part of the trip. 

What I am trying to say and share is not merely on the experiences that I have or the photos that I have taken. I just want to say that never let the negative thoughts pull you down. It may happen to some people. You may not be good in music, but you're good in Maths or Science. Why don't you give yourself a try in creating something new? You may not be good in drawing but you're good in sewing. Why don't you try something new and show the world that you have the talent? You may not be good in sports, not a good runner nor a player (obviously this statement refers to myself), but you're good in public speaking or other things that can benefit you as well. Why don't you give yourself a try and prove that you have the intention to show your ability to others? Allah created us with different talents and abilities. Some might share common interests. What we should do is to make use of it and do not just sit, stare blankly and do nothing. Life on Earth has its own purposes. We have our own roles. It's the matter of choice whether we want to contribute or not. 

I just want to share my very own thought.

"Don't worry when people tell you that you are different from others. It does not simply mean that you are a weirdo. Differences make you special."

And yes, differences made me and you special. We are unique in our own way.

Looking forward to another three big events end of the month. I guess I really need to recharge physically and mentally.

Hey, it's raining in Kuching. Just don't forget your du'a.


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